the thing about doing your own grocery shopping

no one breathes down your neck.

no one waits for you

demanding a run through of your entire day and no one

will ask you to make your bed or clean your room

so you can live in an absolute pigsty

and get away with it. 

you can do whatever the hell you want

and not have to worry about them finding out.

the riskier the better. no consequences. 

except there will be days where you will

lie in bed 

aching

aching to be a kid again,

warm in your parents' bed, 

blissfully ignorant of monsters or nightmares

or life. 

there will be days where you will

feel sadness wash through you so acutely that

all you will want

is to able to squeeze your mum's hand

but you will just have to 

go get some fucking oranges

instead.